whenever i wake up from these repeating nightmares
i really find myself losing control .
i couldn't help , but keep crying over something thats hasn't happened at all
i couldn't help , but feel so depressed and affected .
i tried to assure myself , i tried to talk myself out of it .
but in the end
i still find myself losing control of everything .
i really am surprised , to know how much it could affect
and i'm really astounded , to come to terms that it is indeed driving me crazy
i'm feeling unsecure .
and yes , it is slowly driving me crazy ,
making me out of my mind .
it'll just take a few more times .
terrified , but i couldn't help it anymore .
it's getting worst , by each dream .

and because of this , i'm even more disgusted with how much i've changed in the r/s
if only i never knew anthing about you both ,
if only i could start all over again .
they are laughing at how stupid i could get
i am crying thinking how fustrated i am now .
fustrated , irritated , disgusted .
it's 2 years already , how long more will it take
before i can forget and just move on ?