after so long , after almost 9 months , then i realised it .
a substitue for another girl , how humilating .
i've been the one hu's holding up my head in relationships , but to you ,
i put down all my pride , still , things end up the wrong way .
that first 2 months , my feelings were the strongest for you , total trust was in you .
yet i was a substitute for her , fuck it .
putting it more bluntly , you used me to forget her , to make her jealous of us .
so that she w b jealous of us , then realise that she still likes you .
& when she asks you for patch , you will patch with her and end this r/s .
how wonderful , but your plan din't work . instead , she got a new boyfriend .
that's when you gave up & continue to be with me .
you said its only for the first 2 months , but hu the hell w blieve you ?
you're trying to say , your emotions are controlled by the word STOP .
honey , we are talking on the fone now , & im listening to every word you are saying .
i know you're trying hard to tell me that you really have stopped your doin that .
when i heard the choices you gave me , i feel like im torturing you now .
i feel like i need to protect you , in a different sense

dear , if you really feel that breaking up is better for you , im willing to give in .
but dear , remember that i will always be waiting for you .
i cant afford to lose you . i really cant do without you .
but do you know what i want ?
i want you to prove to me , woo me again , start everything again ; really a fresh start .
i will wait for you to come back to me .
i just feel it's useless , it will just go back to the same old situation again .
dear , if it really make you feel better , im willing to go with your terms .
im just afraid that once i let you go , i won't get you back ever again .

i love you anyway .
precious , let's stop everything now .
we need to calm down , we need to be brainwashed .
this is way too torturing for both of us .